Life As It Is.

Die for the Truth.

"It's better to die for the truth than to live for a lie." Those were Avery's words this afternoon as we were talking about standing up for what you know is right. I have no idea where she heard that from, but I thought it was a very insightful addition to our discussion.

I Should Have Gone To Lowe's.

As most of you have already heard (or at least the locals), Avery and I were in a car accident last night. We were in the left turn lane and we were T-boned on the front passenger-side. Avery is fine, not complaining of anything (hoping she's not too sore when she wakes up this morning). I didn't come out quite as well. Short version of the story...I hyperventilated, my arms & legs went completely tingly, and my hands froze up (can't remember what they called it...carpal something). For that reason (I think), they stabilized me and put a C-collar on so I couldn't move my neck/back until they could get me  out of the car and to the hospital and check me out. The air bags deployed, so my face took a beating. My lip is swollen and I have some abrasions and burns and my face. Thankfully (and surprisingly), my teeth seem to be intact.

They released me from the hospital last night and I'm home resting and Seth is taking good care of me. My back is definitely in some pain, as well as my face. I have some other various bruises and marks, but I'm really doing okay. I was very thankful for Pastor Terry, who was at the hospital within a few minutes and stayed with me until Seth arrived, then he took the girls with him. I was lying there strapped to the backboard, with the collar on, so I couldn't move and I heard someone talking with Avery, but just thought it was a nurse. Then someone asked if he was my husband or my father, and he told them who he was my rent-a-dad, Pastor Terry :) I was confused as to how he even knew anything had happened and how he was there so quickly, but it was sure a comfort to have him there.

Avery experienced her first ambulance ride, riding along with me, chatting it up with the EMT's. She was quite a trooper through the whole thing. I am so thankful for God's protection on her, because it is a miracle to me that she wasn't hurt. She was sitting on the passenger side, right behind where we were hit. Thankfully, we were both wearing our seatbelts. She was totally cool as a cucumber through the entire thing. We had to kinda laugh because Seth and Sadie were the ones that were a wreck and couldn't stop crying; I guess Avery and I were working off of adrenaline.

During the ambulance ride they told me that the freeway was shut down because of an accident and that is why the street that I was on was flooded with cars (it was a zoo). There were something like seven other accidents as a result, and all the ambulances in the area were out on calls. When they were wheeling me into the hospital, I remember them telling the doctor to get ready for an onslaught of car accident victims.

Well, I said it a few years ago when I was rear-ended on the freeway...the Chrysler Town & Country really did its job in keeping us from more injury. Sounds like the tow truck guy thinks it will be totalled, but we'll know more in a few days.

So I'm praising God for keeping us safe and alive. I'm grateful for the people that stopped and helped us...the lady that got Avery out of the car for me (I was worried that we would get hit again and I couldn't move my legs to get her out myself) and stayed with her until help arrived; a man named Robert that stayed by me and held my hand and kept me talking and helped me breathe until the EMT's got there; and for Robert and Patrick, the EMT's that took care of me. Also so thankful for Pastor Terry coming and being with me and then taking the girls for us. For my beloved bff, Sarah, who came to the hospital and took me home and waited with me until Seth picked up the girls and filled my prescription. Very thankful for my hubby; he is definitely a keeper. Thanks all, for your prayers. I was amazed at how quickly the prayer chain works in our church!

I should have gone to Lowe's instead of Home Depot for that sprinkler pipe.

 

 

Life as it is.

Preface: I actually wrote this post on Feb. 21. I've looked at it a few times since then, edited it, taken stuff out that seemed too....blunt? Too honest? I don't know. Just too something. So I don't know if it even makes sense anymore, but I still feel the need to post it because though I was fired up when I wrote it, as I read it today, I find myself getting fired up all over again, so therefore, some truth (as I see it) must be in there somewhere.

Whether you blog, facebook, twitter, or just open your mouth at a social function to share something that is going on in your life, you've probably struggled with the same thing that I wrestle with so often. Or maybe you haven't, I don't know. But I can admit that I've thought about it time after time.

Being real. Being honest. Being authentic. No matter the cost.

Before I even started this blog, more than six years ago, it was on my mind. It is evidenced even in the title, "Life as it is." Because here is the thing....I want to be real about my life. I don't want to paint a pretty picture of what I want people to think my life is (though it is tempting at times). I also don't want to be the type of person that complains or only talks about the hard parts of life.

I don't do myself or anyone else any favors by making my life look like sunshine and roses. Life will have suffering and hard times and problems. We're not capable of handling those things all on our own. Thankfully, we don't have to handle those things on our own. As a person who believes in God, I can find my strength in Him. I can find comfort, peace, and hope in Him. And because of Him, I'm thankful and therefore, I don't want to complain (though I still do).

I don't think I'm the only one that has these internal debates. It might be whether or not to share a story about your child that might not portray them in a good light. I think it is important to not embarass or humiliate your children. And yet I don't want to be one of those moms that only says how amazing her children are. My children are amazing. But they are sinners too. They make mistakes. Hopefully, as their parents, Seth and I are teaching them that they are aren't perfect, they will mess up, and when they do, that is the time to turn to God for forgiveness, to repent and turn away from their sin, and to do better the next time. I don't want to be so prideful that I can't admit when I've made a mistake, and I don't want my children to be that way either. So sometimes I brag on my kids and sometimes I share when they've messed up. Hopefully I can do both in a way that will bring glory to God.

The same goes for marriage. Maybe it is just in my circle, but I think we keep a lot (maybe too much) to ourselves. I'm not purporting that we air all of our dirty laundry for the world to see, but I think we could all benefit from being more real with people about the state of our marriages, both good and bad.

In so many aspects of life (well, all aspects of life), we could learn from one another, if we would only allow ourselves to. You can help me where I'm weak, and I can encourage you where you are struggling, and we can exhort one another to be better wives and husbands, parents, friends, people. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Your strengths can sharpen and inspire me in my weaknesses, and my strengths can motivate you in an area that you struggle in. We all have strengths, we all have weaknesses. Unfortunately, it seems like we spend too much time covering up our weaknesses (guilty as charged) and not enough time allowing ourselves to be helped/sharpened by what others have to offer. We compete with each other. Instead, we should look at another person's giftings as a blessing that we can learn from. And believe me, I'm preaching to the choir here. I'm just preaching it outloud for the rest of you to hear.

Another example. Anything that we get excited about, we want to talk about. We want to tell everyone else what we are all lit up about. The problem is when I get fired up about the topic du jour, I fear others seeing me as preachy (healthy eating). Or like a know-it-all (fitness). Or prideful/self-righteous (what I'm learning about/from God). And then I censor myself. The voices in my head start talking..."don't write about that book, they'll judge you..."

We (trust me, I'm more than aware of the need to include myself) judge other people's motivations without knowing their heart. And that keeps them from sharing their heart, sharing their faith, sharing their need.

The bottom line for me is this: Am I being real? When I share a struggle, am I sharing it just to complain? Or am I showing how God used that situation for good? Am I allowing someone to see an acknowledgment of shortcoming that resulted in growth and movement towards God? When I share something wonderful that has happened in our life, am I sharing it to brag and bring attention to myself, or have I shared it in a way that shows my gratitude and thankfulness for a blessing showered on us by a loving and gracious God?

Life as it is. Sometimes it is good. Sometimes not so good. But it is all for the glory of God. Or at least that is my heart's desire. That my life should be the story of the greatness of God. Sometimes that greatness comes in the form of redeeming my flaws. Sometimes it comes in the form of His blessings that turn me to praise. I can't be concerned with what others think if I'm being real. If I'm honestly sharing the valley experiences and the mountaintop experiences. God is with me in both. Life as it is.

Walk & Talks.

At one point in my life, I was known for my obnoxious questions. You know, the prying, I want to know you better, kinds of questions. Thankfully for my current friends, I have laid off the interrogation style of friendship. Now it is mostly reserved for my children. Lucky for me, my children actually enjoy my questioning.

I'm kinda obsessed with games, journals, etc. that ask a lot of questions. Have you ever had one of those "All About Me" journals? I have one somewhere, and I don't think I've ever written a darn thing in it, but I love it because it gives me ideas of questions to ask other people. I'm always keeping my eye out for games or books in this vein...relational stuff.

When we go on roadtrips as a family, we always have little pocket games like "KidTalk" or "Family Talk" in the bag o' travel fun.  One of my favorites is "Kid's Choices" which poses a dilemma and then asks what you would do in that situation. These are excellent for talking to your kids about how to make choices, moral dilemmas, etc. We've passed many a mile of family vacation with these conversation starters. (I bought these on homeschool websites, so if you are interested, you could check Rainbow Resource, Timberdoodle, Love to Learn, etc).

My friend's (Mike) mom (Kerrie) was in a thrift store and came across this game, "Personal Preference". She picked it up for me and it has been my favorite game ever since. I don't think you can buy it anymore unless you could dig it up on eBay. She found it for me over a decade ago and it was really old even then. If you come over for dinner, I'll pull it out and let you play :)

Several years ago, we were at a Christmas Eve party at my brother's house and he had an "If..." book on the coffeetable. There are several of these books available, and they basically ask questions like, "If you could go back in time, as yourself, to observe any single event from history, what would you want to witness?" Each page is filled with these "if" questions. We spent a good chunk of that party asking one another questions, and then I went home and ordered my own book because I loved it so much.

The girls and I go on LOTS of walks and hikes. So a couple summers ago, we started calling them, "Walk & Talks" because I would always be asking the girls questions. It took some time for them (well, Sadie) to realize that it isn't really about the question being asked, but more about the conversation that comes about as a result of the question. The question is just a jumping-off point. Avery loves to talk, so this concept came easily to her. Sadie, on the other hand, is a lot like her mama and she has a tendency to give short, to-the-point answers. She has to be prodded & information pulled from her, at times. I have to laugh at how crazy this can make me because I know one of my best friends in the world hates this exact same thing about me.

Anyhow, I'm getting off course. A few months ago, we went on a Walk & Talk. I was having an off day. I had a headache, and truth be known, I would have been content to let the girls walk ahead of me while I listened to my iPod, lost in my own thoughts. But the girls were eager for my questions, so I obliged them. Apparently Avery could tell that my heart wasn't in it that day because she commented to me that my questions were "boring" that day. Can't sneak anything past kids these days :)

So I decided that I better come better prepared the next time. The next time, I had written down questions to ask them (pillow talk questions I had found on a parenting website). And then I found a version of Family Talk that was on a handy dandy ring that I could clip right to a bag. That has been going along on our walks lately.

I don't think that I could even convey the value that I've found in these little "walk & talks". Such a simple thing, talking to your kids. But I am so intensely convinced of the power of communicating on a deep level with my girls. It is important for the present, for knowing what they are thinking about right now, what concerns them and so forth, but I am even more concerned about being sure that the lines of communication are wide open as they approach their teen years. It is my goal to make sure that they know they can talk to me about anything, that I'm always available. If you would have told me when my kids were babies that I would be having the deep, insightful, thought-provoking conversations with my kids that I'm having now, I would have doubted you. But the truth is, at eight and nine years old, kids have a capacity for understanding much more than we realize. I've always been big on not talking to my kids in babytalk (though for some reason I still do that to other people's babies); I've always said, "You get what you expect"; and I feel like many parents have a tendency to dumb-down their kids. Yes, they are kids. But if you give them the opportunity, they might amaze you with what they have going on in their head and in their heart. I've been brought to tears by their sensitivity to others; I've been convicted by their words; I've been motivated to be better because they notice everything, nothing escapes them; I've been challenged to learn more because far too often, I don't have the answers. I love my girlies so much, and I am so humbled by them every time we share these talks with each other.

Now, if you'll excuse me, we have a walk & talk scheduled at 2:00pm.

 

Sadie's new glasses.

We picked up Sadie's new glasses yesterday morning. We saw several friends right after we picked them up and I don't think anyone noticed they were different. Seth came home from work, and he didn't notice either. I guess that is evidence that Sadie is very consistent in the style of glasses she chooses. She always chooses the same shape, always a neutral color that matches anything she wears, and nothing fancy on the sides (though she got a little more daring this time around). This is Sadie's third pair of glasses, but she has never had to have them replaced because she has lost or broken them....her prescription just keeps changing. She is very responsible with her glasses; she takes very good care of her glasses. I think her new glasses look a little more grown up.

Piano Players.

A couple photos from a month or two ago, getting ready to go to their piano recital. We've been so proud of Sadie and Avery's devotion and discipline in their piano playing. They're both doing a great job, and they gave excellent performances at their recital. Sadie practices a minimum of 40 minutes a day, 6-7 days a week. Avery practices a minimum of 30 minutes a day, 6-7 days a week. Makes me proud that they excel at something in which I have absolutely no skill or ability.

Mr. Ethan.

Ethan was a superstar model for me. He just smiled and laughed (and chose that day to almost start crawling, so he was on the move a lot). Ethan's mommy is my dear friend, so Ethan holds a special place in my heart...he is like the baby boy we never had :)

Baby Julien.

Little Julien, itty bitty like his mama.

This photo almost fools you into thinking that he slept, but make no mistake, hungry little man wasn't having it. I had a wonderful time with him nonetheless.

Miss Kate.

Little Katie has grown up since I first photographed her....

Before:

And now:

Kate is such a doll and so incredibly easy to photograph, she always does everything I ask. Couldn't ask for a better subject!

Rosey's Funeral.

Rosey, our chinchilla, passed away on Monday, March 19. You often hear about husbands and wives that will die within a short time of one another. When Pepper (Rosey's companion) died in July of 2010, we really didn't think that Rosey would last much longer. Chinchillas (much like humans) like companionship, and Rosey and Pepper had been together a long time. Also, they were getting pretty old, as chinchillas go.

But still, it was sad when Rosey died. Avery went downstairs Monday afternoon to clean out the cage (one of Monday's chore duties) and reappeared a short time later sobbing and a complete wreck. Avery is very nurturing, loyal, very emotionally committed. So needless to say, she was devastated by the loss of her dear Rosey. Sadie responded in her usual way...lots of silent tears, reserved emotion. As much as she loved Rosey, I think she was stirred equally as much by Avery's pain; Sadie knows better than anyone just how much Avery loved Rosey and Pepper.

After an hour or so of crying, the girls pulled themselves together and carried on. They have spoken of Rosey a fair amount this week, but they've grieved Rosey's death better than Pepper's death.

I dug the hole for the burial, but then Seth brought the box out and I realized the box was much bigger than I realized, so Seth had to enlarge the hole.

The girls picked a bunch of greenery to put on top of the box (apparently to make it pretty) while debating with me about whether animals have souls.

Seth placed Rosey in the ground and then Avery read something she had written for Rosey, then she placed the note in the ground.

Then the girls filled in the hole again.

 We will miss you, Rosey.